Things I've Learned

I have learned so much about myself in the past few years that it's amazing, really. I thought I would truly "know who I was" by the time I completed college, but I was wrong. In college I definitely figured out who I wasn't and who I didn't want to be (everyone learns from their mistakes, right?). Since I completed my undergrad in 2007, I feel like a butterfly that's shed its cocoon. I've been doing a good bit of soul searching lately and here are some things I've learned about myself:

1. I'm pretty selfish. Even as I write that sentence, I am mortified and embarrassed, but it's true. There are some of you reading this who are laughing because you've known this for so long and who have been hurt by my selfishness, and for that, I am truly so sorry. Being married to a very selfless person has made me acutely aware of how "me" centered my life is. Through some Bible study recently, I've learned just how dangerous, unhealthy, and detrimental my selfishness can be. God tells us to "love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind". How on Earth can I possibly love the Lord with ALL my heart, soul, and mind if all I think about is myself and things that affect me?!? It's impossible. Instead of having a me-mindset, I have to change my focus to look to Him. When I or you or whoever finally focuses on Him, all other things will fall into place.

2. I'm career oriented. I NEVER, NEVER thought I would ever write that sentence. I thought, like a lot of other girls in their teens and early 20's, that I would go to school for a B.A. or B.S., get a job, find a great husband, have a baby two years later, and be a stay at home mom. Please, reader, hear me when I tell you that I think that staying at home with children is one of the most selfless and one of the more difficult things that women can do. My mom was a stay at home mom when we were growing up and I will forever be thankful for the time she spent with us and the selflessness she and my dad displayed by raising us that way. This is not a feminist ploy- I NEVER thought I would feel this way. BK and I married three years ago and knew from the beginning that we wanted to wait a while before we added little one. Three years into it, most all of our married friends have at least one child, and most have baby #2 on the way. We're so happy for them! But, we know that the Lord hasn't put it on our hearts to have kids yet, and we're enjoying coming and going whenever we want and it being just the two of us. I want to go back to school for my Ph.D or Ed.D. very soon and I want to continue working after we have kids to further my career.

3. I don't like denominations. A Christian is a Christian is a Christian. If we believe that Christ is God's son born of a virgin, who came to Earth, spread His good word, died on a cross to forgive the world's sins, and rose from the grave three days later fulfilling the scriptures, what else really matters? Does it matter that your a Methodist and he's a Baptist, or Pentecostal, or non-denominational? My students, who I refer to as my kids, would always ask me what denomination I am. I always replied with the fact that I am a believer and follower of Christ, but I go to a Baptist church. However, I stressed to them that I didn't think that denomination was important- the fact that a person believes that Jesus is their risen Savior is what is important. I'm so thankful that I teach in a public school where my students are curious about what I believe and ask me so that I can share it with them.

4. I love to cook! I this may seem really silly, considering how "serious" the previous three points have been, but it's definitely true. I don't just like cooking other people's recipes, I love to take several recipes and change them or combine them to make something yummy. After a long or stressful day, there's no better therapy for me than to come home and cook or bake. BK knows that if I've had a bad day, clear out of the kitchen until dinner is finished!

5. My mom is my best friend- for real. We talk pretty much every day. If not every day, then every other day for sure. I'm so thankful for her love, support, and encouragement every day of my life. No matter what happens in my life, I know that my parents will be there for me through everything, good and bad.

6. I ruined some really great relationships in the past. I can't change what has happened, but I can apologize and do my best to be the friend that people deserve. If you've been on the receiving end of my mistakes, I'm sorry and I hope that you will or have forgiven me. Recently, I went through this process with one of my oldest childhood friendships. Let me tell you, if you are considering taking the scary step of apologizing and hoping you'll be forgiven, do it! I apologized and was forgiven and now a friendship has been renewed. I am so thankful!

Obviously I've learned more than six things about myself over the past few years, but I've been typing for an hour and I'm done for now. I'd love to hear what you've learned about yourself, too!